This is EXACTLY Why People Hate Successful and Happy People [The "Bystander Effect"]

It goes without saying: anything you want to do that’s contrary to the “norm” will encounter resistance from other people. This is a standard 'human' rule.

Whether you want to be more successful, whether you want to be happier and healthier, or whether you want to start taking more vacations – even your close friends and family will envy you and be jealous of you.

And the sad truth is that by becoming successful, most people will hate you – even if they don’t say it. Even your family and friends will resent you.

The bystander effect is what happens when OTHER people watch YOU go after the dream… while they let their own dream wither and die.

People hate you for being healthy, because the average person KNOWS he or she needs to be healthier.

They have the same fear of dying young that you do, they have the same fear of missing out on life that you do, and they have the same desire to look and feel amazing – to extend their life, without having a constant low level of fear and anxiety in the back of their mind.

The difference is that you are taking steps to make that a reality, whereas the average person is consumed with fear or frustration. The little roadblocks become big roadblocks to them.

Most people won’t flat out say they envy you or are jealous (obviously), but they’ll say things like:

“Oh come on, it’s just a Pizza, eat up. live a little.”

And it’s funny to me because it’s almost a passive aggressive way of encouraging someone else to fail, so they can feel better about themselves.

It’s like the old saying – there are two ways to build the tallest building in town: Build a taller building, or tear down all the other buildings around it. The majority of people would rather tear you down, so they feel a bit better about themselves, than just step up their game and show up in a more awesome way.

But I know YOU want something bigger from life. You want to be that 1% success story – you want to be the outlier, you want to be the person that others look to for inspiration. And you can.

How to Approach Bystanders

First… empathy.

Understand that largely, the people that hate on others are deeply unhappy with that aspect of their lives.

Ever notice how it’s the poorest friend hating on rich people?

Or the person who wants to get healthier that hates on the fit girl?

Or the girl who always has dysfunctional relationships that’s hating on love and serious relationships?

Yeah, it makes sense, right?

Understand that with the average person (or even friend or family member), they’ll try to sabotage you when you have something they want.

Personally, I view this as the point where that internal fortitude comes in.

This is where YOU being obsessed with your dream comes in.

EVERYONE, even many of the people you love, will try to take it from you. It reminds them of their own dissatisfaction with their health, and honestly, their life.

So you have to be strong, and be a role model not only for yourself, but for others.

Think of it like this: people are going to hate you for something, why not have them hate you for living an incredible life?

The takeaway for you today is simple.

Once you get closer to the health you want, the body you want and the life you want – people will get jealous.

And that often includes your friends, family, and other people.

And sometimes you’ll lose friends over it. People will resent you. Some will try to sabotage you by offering up “suggestions” on what you should or shouldn’t do.

Ignore all of them. And then just keep plugging away towards the dream.

Written by Alexander Heyne