TheNwando - "How i found peace by letting go of the past and the future" [OPINION]

“I used to be afraid of the pain letting go of the past would cause, until I realized how much pain holding on has caused.” ~Steve Maraboli

I realized that I’d been holding on to so many things from my past. Past dreams, past people, past places, past desires. Somehow it all seemed safe; I assumed that because it was familiar territory it was alright; I convinced myself that because I had been there and experienced these things I knew what to expect so I could be in control.

Moving back to Lagos, Nigeria has been bittersweet. Filled with once familiar places that now feel strange, opportunities that turned to life lessons, awkward conversations with those I once called family, strangers I’ve spent more time with than friends, social circles I’ve been in the midst of whilst feeling like a square. I have realized with a force that my fantasy is very far from my reality and in the past few weeks I have learnt to adjust accordingly.

We often spend so much time in the past or in what we see in our future that we forget the present is currently happening and dwelling in the past or future causes our present life to be on pause whilst we wait for past or future glory and eventually we find that we’ve missed out on opportunities because we have not permitted ourselves to exist in the present.

“If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you’d want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So don’t be afraid. Be alive.” ~Sarah Dessen

If my world ended tomorrow; I’d be very disappointed in myself for looking so much at the past or the future and missing out on the present. I want to ‘go’ satisfied; knowing that I took advantage of all the opportunities life threw at me, I forged connections that inspired me to growth, I left a positive impact in the lives of others and I TRULY LIVED.

My quiet Sunday evening advice for you today is that you let go. Let go of things that no longer serve you. Let go of whatever feels forced. Let go of the past. Let go of resentment. Let go of pain. Let go of hurt. Let go of procrastination. Let go of whatever prevents your growth. Let go of negativity. Let go of bitterness. Let it all go. Let go of dwelling in the past. Let go of living in the fantasy of the future. Live in the now.

Allow yourself to feel light. Allow room for positivity.

Below are the ways I’ve learned to let go and live in the now:

1. By knowing my worth – I constantly go through life trying to be the best I can possibly be in all areas of my life. I go above and beyond most times for the people in my life and I never demand that I get the same level of dedication. I realize now that I’m worthy of the same level of dedication I show others. I realize more and more that i’m worthy. Of respect, success, love, friendship and all the good stuff. I’m worthy.

2. By controlling my mind – I found that my mind was constantly in ‘what was’ or in ‘what could be’ and never really in ‘what is’. So I started working to change that. My eyes are now open to some opportunities i had previously missed because I was stuck in my head and in my thoughts; i was stuck in the idea of what i thought my life should look like.

3. By letting go of fear of the unknown – I realized recently that sometimes I can be scared of unfamiliar territory; I feel like the more I’m aware of something then the more I can control it but life is a series of unplanned events and unknown situations; that’s the reality and we can’t possibly be in control all the time; in this new knowledge I’m finding peace.

4. Shit happens – Happiness is a part of life. But so is sadness and disappointment; it is not realistic to always hope for the positive and never experience the negative. I’m learning to take all situations as they are; learn the lesson I need to from whatever situation and move on without dwelling.

5. By taking better care of myself – I’m learning the importance of taking care of myself. My health, my physical appearance, my soul, my heart and my essence. Living in the past was forcing me to focus less on myself and more on ‘dwelling’. I’m learning the importance more and more of self love so i’m putting effort into self care; body and soul. I needed to let go of certain things to take better care of me and that’s what I did.

These are the ways I learnt to let go. I took stock of my life and aspirations; applied the above and the process is happening naturally. I don’t have it all figured out yet; but i’m in a much better place.

I urge you to find what works for you; find a way to live and thrive in the present moment.

Don’t be afraid. Be Alive

Love x Light
N.